solar plexus
solar plexus
and when i have to leave
forgive me
when you can
and know
forgive me
for the healing
and know
i had to do it
for the healing
i didn’t do it
i had to do it
when i did
i didn’t do it
until i could
when i did
it was for all of us
until i could
i had to leave
it was for all of us
and you can
It’s the warmth, the multiple haloes in this picture for me. From here it is as if my father is looking me directly in my eye to tell me something, while the youngest part of me still clutches at his chest. Sometimes the break is in our hearts. Sometimes it reaches lower to the solar plexus, we wonder about the the life source that created us, we shut down our solar power in our loss. We question our own power because if we were really powerful wouldn’t we be able to prevent all this loss? If I could do anything I would undo this loss, bring back your heat. Embrace you again. But here I am, on yet another day, and none of that has happened. And deep inside I think it means I can’t do anything. I doubt my power. I feel so acutely disconnected that don’t remember where the circuits are that link me to the sun.
The words behind this poem are the words “right here.” Right here my father says. I am right here. Right here where feel you the most grief, the most rage, the most longing, right here is your connection to the heat the bright eternal. You can. He says. You can. And he means everything. I can embrace, bring back, remember, hold. All dreams I’m protecting myself from. All the healing in multiple directions. You can. The solar plexus chakra is the generator. Our relationship to that energy hub is about what we believe about our capability. What I learn in my longing, my reaching, what I learn in my crying and screaming, is that I am only capable of one thing. Love. It is enough.
P.S. My every day writing practice shapes my days into vessels for generations of love. If you want support with your own daily creative practice, I’d love to be part of your journey. Videos, poem prompts, meditations and more are here for you in the Stardust and Salt Daily Creative Practice Intensive. Click the link to learn more.