praise song

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praise song for what holds you up

(for when it can’t be my two arms)

 

 

praise song for what holds you up

because you deserve to float

and salt from every ocean

loves your face

 

because you deserve to float

and stars from every galaxy

love your face

your place in the universe

 

stars from every galaxy

may they shine upon you

your place in the universe

is grace

 

may every sun shine upon you

right where you are

in grace

held by my love

 

right where you are

salt from every ocean

holds you up

sing now

and know

I received this poem as an ancestral message from my father. I wonder at this early moment he thought about the limits of his life, his strength, his ability to hold and protect. Right now, I am clear that there were many times in his life, and especially as he faced death, when he thought about what structures would support his children after he was not longer embodied on earth. Spoiler alert, he did not create a financial structure that left us all independently wealthy, though I think he tried. And I know he would have very much wanted to do that. And yet. I come back to our collectively favorite Nikki Giovanni proclamation: “Black love is Black wealth.” And now I can hear through the love of my father (who by they way bought us Nikki Giovanni’s poetry for children) the deeper meaning in the words “you deserve to float.” Not as capitalist entitlement, but as a return to the ocean, the sun and the galaxies beyond. You deserve to float. To be held by the universe. To receive love from every direction, in every form. This is a subversive legacy. Especially coming from a family of hustlers. I come by my workaholism naturally. But I deserve to float. It is easy for me to know the truth of that when I look at the young people in my life. Of course they deserve support. Of course they deserve to breathe easy and to know that life-supporting love is their divine gift to receive, not a scarce exception they have to learn. But I struggle to give that grace to myself. In this poem I receive instead of resisting my father’s wish that I have all good things and grace and ease in life. That I know, regardless of what capitalist narratives or my actual bank statement is saying, that I deserve to experience ease and to celebrate what this miracle of a planet is offering me constantly. I deserve to be at home on Earth which as Toshi Reagon often reminds us somehow has exactly the air we need to breathe the water we need to drink, the light we need to grow if we would just recognize it. And you too. You deserve to float. You were in fact made for it. You beautiful being full of air, on a planet made of salt. You being less dense than salt water or soil. With open pores all over the surface of your life. You were meant to receive all the love. Now sing.

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P.S. My every day writing practice shapes my days into vessels for generations of love. If you want support with your own daily creative practice, I’d love to be part of your journey. This is the Stardust and Salt Daily Creative Practice Intensive.

Alexis Pauline Gumbs