The Center of the Universe: On Being Where We Are
Last week we gathered for the “Set Me Free” ancestral accountability intensive and wrote together not only about our role in elevating and liberating our ancestors, but also about how listening to and learning about them reveals our own current entrapment, by external systems and internal patterns. In honor of my great grandmother Edith Henry who was an organist and spiritual worker in the AME church, and who also died in a mental institution after a mental break caused by the death of her disabled son in an institution for the containment of disabled children in the early 20th century we explored our organs, the breathing of the church organ, the organized chaos of our longings and fears and supported each other in holding space for the rage, love, guidance and clarification of our ancestors.
As I have been building my relationship with Edith Henry and acknowledging her and her son, my great uncle who I never learned about until I found his name on a census record and broke a multi-generational family silence, I think about what it means to be in “our place.” Great grandmother Edith was a Black woman who did not survive the patriarchal constriction of the time in which she lived and the dominating socialization of my great grandfather. And ultimately she was confined in a mental institution. My great uncle was one of the many children with disabilities who was forced out of view. He died within 24 hours being placed in an institution. My great grandmother, who never wanted him to be sent there, died from the heartbreak of losing him. The consequences of Black women being forced to stay “in their place” and of disabled people being forced into backrooms is profound suffering, silence and death. I have had to reimagine the places my ancestors inhabited, constricted in multiple ways as the center of the universe. The place from which wisdom, accountability and impact radiate out even though multiple systems of oppression tried to contain their uncontainable lives.
And right now, many of us are newly negotiating containment. Many abled people are for the first time developing empathy for disabled community members who have to self-quarantine on a regular basis. The conversation about freedom of movement, lockdown and isolation is expanding. And right where you are, right now, is the center of the universe. It is the place where you get to learn about the internal and external limitations that shape your days, and the structures that were already in place. In our late efforts to contain the consequences of a pandemic that the systems that harm us daily have allowed to run rampant, we are learning something new about our “place” or the extent of our displacement, here at the center of the universe.
Our offering to you is the group poem that we wrote together on the first night of our ancestral accountability intensive. We offer what we are placing at the center and what centers us in this time of anxiety and uncertainty. Use it when you need centering. If functions as a repetitive meditation. If possible, read it out loud. Right where you are.
The Center of the Universe
by the participants in the Set Me Free Ancestral Accountability Intensive
“the center of the universe. her place.”
-from “Edict” in Dub: Finding Ceremony
breath. the center of the universe.
love. the center of the universe.
joy. the center of the universe.
women. the center of the universe.
mycelium. the center of the universe.
the seed of what is left. the center of the universe.
grandmothers healing hands. the center of the universe.
deep knowing. the center of the universe.
your heart. the center of the universe.
a heart that gives, receives, holds, gives again. the center of the universe.
the warmth of strong arms embrace. the center of the universe.
our bodies where we live and breathe. the center of the universe.
her womb. the center of the universe.
body to body. the center of the universe.
water. the center of the universe.
her eyes, looking at me. the center of the universe.
releasing flowing tears. the center of the universe.
a well. the center of the universe.
the grounding rhythm of the drums. the center of the universe.
vibrational healing. the center of the universe.
purple light. the center of the universe.
sacred caves. the center of the universe.
ammonite fossils. the center of the universe.
stone. the center of the universe.
tree. the center of the universe.
fire. the center of the universe.
burnt root and smoke. the center of the universe.
standing under the moon. the center of the universe.
play. the center of the universe.
organ. the center of the universe.
handwritten notes. the center of the universe.
black feminist brilliance. the center of the universe.
your beautiful bright smiles. the center of the universe.
journey towards the center of the universe.
this. right now. the center of the universe.
If you want to be among the first to hear about April’s online intensive you can join the email list here: http://brillianceremastered.alexispauline.com/contact/
Our next two online workshops this month are:
Friday, March 20th 7pm eastern Audre Lorde online workshop “in order to go on living”: an equinox ceremony https://www.eventbrite.com/e/in-order-to-go-on-living-an-equinox-ceremony-in-the-time-of-epidemic-tickets-99715916992
Tuesday, March 24th 7pm eastern Toni Cade Bambara online workshop “Take Care of Your Blessings”: Toni Cade Bambara and a Spell for Mutual Survival https://www.eventbrite.com/e/take-care-of-your-blessingstoni-cade-bambara-a-spell-for-mutual-survival-tickets-99711794662
And if you specifically want to be notified as we roll out the Black Feminist Breathing Reboot Upgrade you can add your email here: https://mailchi.mp/c4130ae92edb/keepbreathing