forest lesson
forest lesson
and when you are in the woods
and it is dark
and you feel far away
from love
and it is dark
remember trees come
from love
like you do
remember trees
grow
like you do
from dirt
grow
and you will find
your dirty way
to heaven
and you will find
when you are in the woods
that heaven
is close
Every time we reach this dark time of the year it is a challenge for me to distinguish my mammal memory that it is time to hibernate from a feeling of depression, and even workaholic shame that all the things I wish I could get done before the end of the capitalist year drag through me like mud. We have so deeply pathologized rest that just honoring the clear signal of darkness to snuggle and dream becomes a struggle. I don’t know exactly why my mom decided to take a series of portraits of me and my dad in the dark near these trees during our first joint birthday party, I’ll ask. I certainly look like I don’t know what is going on. But looking back at this picture I imagine that whatever my Dad is saying to me to me in this moment is a message for right now, when I am in the mode of darkness, not a clear path but a mysterious part of the journey that ultimately has the most gifts, (pagan appropriation and capitalist harnessing of generosity aside). If I can really be with the dark parts of myself, the underground, the shadowed aspects of my life and my journey I will learn so much more, love myself deeper, rest enough to grow in invisible ways. So many of us feel far away from love and with no quick hope of traveling nearer during this season. In our creative projects we may be in the woods, unclear about where we are even going. That part of my journey that capitalism does not affirm and tries to pretend doesn’t even exist…a big clue that it must be important. The sacred unseen. Dirty, divine and evergreen.
P.S. My every day writing practice shapes my days into vessels for generations of love. If you want support with your own daily creative practice, I’d love to be part of your journey. This is the Stardust and Salt Daily Creative Practice Intensive.