what holds you

cold of water

bright of teeth

sun of shoulders

swim the question

bright of teeth

afraid of nothing

swim the question

what holds you up

afraid of nothing

and everything

what holds you up

what holds you

everything

is it love

what holds you

is it time

is it love

sun of shoulders

is it time

cold as the sea

It is taking me a long time to learn this. How supportive the ocean actually is to my life. What support actually feels like. In capitalism we are not supposed to know what actually supports us. And so we poison the water and the air. Ignore the currents and chase currency. We make time into units of productivity. But we long for connection. Oneness. Those moments when we forget to end or begin. Our glimpses of eternity. The moment of this picture was not my first experience of the ocean, but it was an early one. The thing about getting into the water is that at first you feel the boundaries of your skin differently than you could in air. But at some point the temperature balances, especially in the calm water of Rendezvous Bay, Anguilla which some people like to call “God’s bathtub.” Do you have those moments, were all of a sudden you feel the boundaries of yourself? The limit of your skin? Sometimes do you feel separate and afraid? Wondering if you are even worthy of support? I do. In those moments, I am teaching myself to remember the moment of this image my mother made. I know what it feels like to be supported by other people, my father the strong swimmer. Supporting me even now. I know what it feels like to be supported by this environment, the ocean which gave us life, the air that allows itself to move through me. By my mother holding an archive of every age of me. By each of you the moment you forget to pretend these poems are not yours. What holds us. It is love. All the time.

P.S. My every day writing practice shapes my days into vessels for generations of love. If you want support with your own daily creative practice, I’d love to be part of your journey. This is the Stardust and Salt Daily Creative Practice Intensive.